Technology is growing so fast that many of us find ourselves running to keep up with better, faster, more powerful. If we make our computers faster, with more space, and easier to use, then why can’t we do more work in less time? This is the precedent being set for most people, including those families who have to have 2 incomes to keep up with rising costs. Why? Unless you keep up with the times knowledge-wise, you can barely find a job where you’re “not” saying, “Would you like fries with your hamburger?”

It is because of these things that the breakdown of relationships worldwide is apparent, and depression is running rampant. Now there are many books and websites that teach how to live a frugal life so you don’t have to work so many hours or take a second job to make ends meet. But instead of focusing on frugal living, (which we could do for years), let’s go in a different direction and work on better understanding the basics of relationships and how to build them up. This will help give people a support system.

I’d like to take you back to a time when women got married and the new couple would move into or very close to their parent’s home. Parents would automatically help teach the young couple the how-to’s of married life. This gave them role models. Grandmothers, mothers and other women in town would come together when a baby was born. They’d care for the new mother and her household as well as help teach her how to care for her new baby.

Do you remember a time where sewing circles weren’t unique, but rather common? Or have you ever heard of barn raisings? WHY do you think these things occurred then and in some old-fashioned towns still take place?

The reason as I see it is that God made people to help lift one another up, building them up in love. People weren’t meant to be alone. They need others to enrich their lives. Women are natural nurturers, caregivers. They were given to one another as a gift so that someone would be there to nurture the nurturers. But there’s a breakdown in relationships today and we need to get back to the basics of how to have long lasting ones.

Relationships don’t seem to come as naturally as they once did. Technology and the frantic pace of life these days has made it easy for us to isolate ourselves from others. Therefore many women need to learn how to build relationships with other women. They need to be taught how to cry with one another. It doesn’t matter who’s hurting worse or whether you can relate (although it does help). What matters is that if someone is hurting, you should be compassionate enough to let them release, unload, whine or whatever you want to call it to get it out of their system.

This is how we learn about the character of our friends and family. It’s one thing to see one another in simple situations or during normal days. But if you can be friends with someone through their bad times, anger, blame, etc. How much stronger will your relationship be throughout the years?

Building and maintaining meaningful relationships with others takes time and effort. Someone once told me that friendships were like a good batch of sourdough starter. For a healthy starter, there’s give and take. You feed the starter and nurture it, giving it what it needs to mature into something wonderful. At the same time, you take some of it away with you, but you always replenish it to keep it fresh and healthy. Friendships, too, are give and take. If you want a strong, healthy friendship, then you have to feed and nurture it so it, too, can mature into something wonderful.

Do you have or know of a lonely elder or neighbor? On a day where you feel like you just can’t do it anymore, need a break from the children, or just need time to CLEAN (which seems to be the most widely complained-about problem), why not have one of these nice people over for some special quiet time with your children? Better yet, see if you can set up a time to have the children go to their house. If you have older children, it would be a good way to teach them about how important our elders are to us.

The children can help straighten up their home, or bring goodies to share while they read a story to them. I would even ask the elder to share some of his/her life history with the kids. My children used to listen to their adopted Grandma Irene talk about her life on the farm and meager Christmas times. In fact, they still remember what chair they were sitting in with her over 7 years ago. I got quite a bit of cleaning done that day too!

People save “stuff” for so many years, rarely realizing that they are not enjoying most of the “stuff” they are saving. Next thing they know, they are renting a storage unit for $100 plus a month to store stuff they probably aren’t going to use. Or there’s always the old adage that says, “I might need it later.” Of course when later comes, they can’t find it and have to buy “it” again… anyway.

Visualization is a good motivator, when you actually find the right vision. I think I finally found mine. In order to get to the vision, I must get rid of all that weighs me down.

After moving my “stuff” many times over the years I’ve gotten to a point where I realized that my Snoopy collection is nothing more than stuffed animals that provide a great place for dust. I don’t have them out where I can enjoy them, so why not allow someone else to enjoy them? They are being donated to a charity auction. My old Childcraft books have been shuffled from one house to the other. I read them to my children when they were young, but that was a LONG time ago.

As empty shelves appear in my closet and garage, I feel relief. It is like small weights are slowly being taken off of my back. Things I never thought I could get rid of are being recycled or put in the dumpster.

As I go through boxes, I sit and think deeply about why I am keeping these “things.” I realize that long ago they had meaning. They were a part of who I was. But that’s not who I am today. So in the trash or to charity they go.

Who are you today? Are you defining yourself by the things you keep or moving forward for a more freeing life of simplicity?

©2012 Susie Glennan

I am proud to be Mom. However, when my first two children were babies, I had a hard time grasping what I was supposed to do all day. I sometimes cried from the loneliness being home all day with my first baby. She was a doll and I enjoyed every moment with her. But when the house was clean and we were done eating, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Oh we’d take walks and go to the park. But there were usually two or more moms talking in their groups. They all had something together and I lived just a couple blocks away too many to be included.

There’s only SO much play you can do in a day with a baby . Next my son came along and I had to learn to manage two of them all day. Things were still about the same except for the sleepless nights because of my son’s colic. Moving on, our third child was born and her ears were always infected so she lived on my hip and the sleepless nights continued.

I couldn’t blame the children for my sleepless nights. For my sanity, at about 12 noon each day, I’d tell the children that it was time for everyone to have quiet time. They would complain because they wanted to be outside or in front of TV, etc… I came up with this, “We all need quiet time. Even mommies need quiet time. Do you know what happens to your mommy when she doesn’t get her quiet time?” Their eyes would open big and they’d say, “Uh ohhhhh.” I’d go on, “Mommy turns into ‘Mommy Monster’!” I’d snarl and make faces and chase them into their bedrooms. They’d run laughing all the way down the hall. Of course I was carrying the baby and gave her certain toys she only played with at that time, each day, in her crib.

I didn’t require them to sleep. They could do anything they wanted as long as it was relaxing and quiet. But instead of yelling and screaming, I explained to them that if I didn’t get MY needed rest I would turn into a monster.

The point is that it took a LOT of thinking and ingenuity to come up with things to help me stay sane and still be a good mom. We had a rigid schedule because I home schooled. But that proved to be great because we would schedule in 3-5 hours of “Free Time” per day! I did this by setting up the house so that there was a place for everything and everything had a place. It took about a month or so to get it that way, but it is well worth the effort.

Now, 20 years of marriage and three teenagers later, there have been a lot of changes and hard lessons learned. We all say we are going to do better than our parents. And in some things we do. But I’ll never forget my mom telling me that one day I’ll understand this and one day I’ll understand that…

The past 4 months or so have been my awakening. On my way home from a recent trip I felt the need to stop in and tell my parents how much I appreciate and love them. I must have said it 10 times. I now understand what mom meant all those years. And oh how I appreciate them, the things they sacrificed, the things they did for us. When I came home from school as a child my mom would greet me with a smile and hug and say, “Hi Honey! How was your day?” I can still hear her.

My mom has not always been the gentle mom she is now. That’s where I came up with mommy monster after all. However, I can see things more clearly now because I had so many of the same “Mommy Monster” Days with my children as she did with me. As a child though, you don’t quite understand the reality of the situation.

Somehow I don’t remember the difficult times as vividly as I did before. I mostly remember all the gentle quiet times she shared with me. When I was in preschool, she helped out in the classroom and at one point was my teacher for a short time at a preschool. Then during the days I was home I remember her teaching me how to play cards. Her favorite at that time was Gin Rummy and you know what, my mom never let me win. That was a big deal! She would beat me fair and square. But on the off chance I would actually win, I KNEW that I had really won! I seem to recall many games of gin rummy, go fish, crazy eights, war, and slap jack. I remember; watching TV with her, getting to sneak some of the yummy food before her guests came for her Pan game, gentle rocking when I hurt or was sad (This one I remember most!). I remember her always being on all but two field trips I went on throughout my elementary school years and the ones she missed were only because she had surgery during one and was sick for the other. But she had the teacher sit with me on the bus to make sure I didn’t get sick. [smile]

This is a tribute to MY Momm and Yours for all of their diligent service as Moms, their hard work, unconditional love, sacrifices and most of all, warm hugs. Seems as though when we get older, the good memories replace the bad and we can then see who our moms really are. I hope that happens to you sooner than it did me. Thank you Mom!!!

Welcome to the wonderful world of organization! Here are a few tips to get you started in the right direction whether you’ve already purchased a planner and don’t know where to start or you’re thinking of purchasing a planner:

Read our article Personality Based Time Management to find out what type personality you are: A Compulsive; A Casual; B Motivated; B Messy. When you’re done, come back here.

If you’re an Type A personality the master filler with binder would make a good start.
If you’re a Type B personality then the Busy Woman Basics starter pack is what is recommended.

Only put in what you absolutely need. Remember you are carrying this with you. If you’re a Type B, only purchase a handful of pages when you first start out. Our recommendations are:

* Cover/Special Occasions Pages
* Monthly Tabs
* Daily OR Weekly Pages
(but not both unless you’re a seasoned planner user)
* Section Tabs
* Note Pages
* Personal Medical Information Page
* Child Information Pages (if you have children)
* Page Turner
* Vinyl Zipper Pouch
* Address Tabs
* Address Pages

Monthly Tabs – Only put in up to six months at a time.

Daily Pages – Start off trying 7 pages behind only the month you are in when you get your planner. (That will give you 14 days, back and front)

Weekly Pages – Start off trying 2 weekly pages in that first month as well. (Alternate between whatever pages you choose.)

Section Tabs – These have pages to match 5 of the tabs. Then we added 3 plain tabs to let you get creative. Make your own tabs, or take out tabs you don’t use. No need to lug around the extra weight. Personal, Medical & Child Information Pages usually go under personal. (If you need to put your personal numbers like, bank, social security, or license numbers in your book, try putting them into a code that only you can read, whether you put them in reverse order or some other way. Don’t make it easier for someone to use your information if you’re purse gets stolen.) In the different sections, only put in a few pages of each kind until you learn what pages work best for you. After about a month, maybe less, you will be able to ascertain what pages you need more of and what you need less of. Put those that you’re not going to use right now in the box that usually comes with your master filler, up in your closet above where you hang your clothes.

If you reorder pages you already have, but forgot about or can’t find them, we’ll usually be able to help you. Because we try to tell everyone about our suggested place to house your planner pages that aren’t used yet, we’ll know where they are if you took our advice. It’s something that’s been implemented since 1999 and it’s working quite well for those who need it.

Keep it SIMPLE!

What’s left? A LOT! However, try getting used to the basics before you purchase every page you think you need or want. We don’t want this planner added to the closet floor with the rest. (wink) We see this WAY too often. Put the money you save by purchasing our daily planner in the bank.

The Busy Woman’s Daily Planner is all about helping women Simplify Their Lives, by keeping everything at their fingertips. We’re not here to get rich quick! We’re here to guide you. Many women are creatures of habit. So you may not need to change what you’re using. This is me. Though, chances are that if you’re here reading this, you need a change.

Many women change their planners around to suit their needs. I’ve seen many phases of a woman’s life, from working and having no children, to staying home with one or more little ones, to having older children who all attend different sports or lessons. Now I’m in the grandma phase!

Our pages aren’t dated so when your phase of life changes, you don’t have to throw any pages away. You can save them in a box up in your closet above where you hang your clothes to retrieve when you need them at a later time.

When you decide you need a change because the pages you’re using aren’t working for the phase of life you’re in, try some of our other pages. There will come a time, maybe in two years, maybe in five years… that you will want to use those old pages again. Amazingly enough, I’ve see it happen often.

Get a nice cup of your favorite drink and/or a snack. Sit down in a pleasant atmosphere and enjoy starting fresh in your new planner. Schedule in FUN TIME! Make it bright, bold and clearly visible. You need something to look forward to. Schedule in dates with family members and dear friends to nurture those relationships.

If you wonder what size day planner you need or want, answer these questions:
Do you have large writing? Buy the Classic Size daily planner.
Do you have small writing or can you learn to write small (because you want it a little lighter)? Buy the Compact Size.

Now off you go to The Busy Woman STORE and if you still need help, get our NEW CD, How To Put Your Planner Together. It’s like having private time with Susie and her friend Katie helping you set up your planner and giving you tips for using different planner pages.
Or, call 800-848-7715 for your FREE consultation and help placing your order.

As I say all too often, “Things aren’t getting any easier, so don’t lay down. Get up and get out!” Now I’m not talking about quitting your job and leaving yourself open for failure financially or otherwise. I’m talking about trying new things and if they don’t work, at least you’ve tried them.

May I take you through a walk in my shoes for a brief moment? Okay, you all know me by now, a semi-brief walk in my shoes…

I didn’t realize what a profound effect trying just about everything I wanted to try had on me, my family and even my friends. While the grass isn’t greener on this side, I can say that I’ve tried doing almost any business I thought might be fun. I’ve been a butcher’s apprentice, sold cars, ran a supermarket deli, worked for many different years at hardware stores in the plumbing department as they changed names from Oles, to Ace, to Builders Emporium, then worked at Lumber City and Home Depot. I also worked at JC Penny, Hickory Farms, B. Dalton Books, and even ran a day care. I’ve sold Discovery Toys, Herbalife, Melaleuca, Tupperware, Mary Kay, Amway, you name it! If I needed it for the stage of life I was in, I sold it. I usually worked two jobs at once and then even added children to the mix! And as you all know, I purchased The Busy Woman’s Daily Planner 4 years ago.

I’ve lived in six different places I wanted to live, including the beach. I’ve gone to college in different cities picking up a class or two here and there, while working, while parenting, and on, and on…

What appeared to me to be indecisiveness intrigued my friends. They’d call just to see what I was up to. After many years of feeling like I was doing all of the talking, and thinking that I was self centered, one of my friends told me she was living vicariously through my life. She didn’t have to try those things that might fail. She could just listen to me, hear the good and bad and be satisfied. Not me! I needed to experience it for myself.

Most of my friends had neat and tidy lives with 2 or 3 children, a home they owned for so long that they weren’t house poor, a dog, their mom nearby, a husband with set hours who was home by 5, etc… So listening to my experiences usually made them feel better about having a mellow life. Mine was often hectic and fast paced. Did I say, “Was?” I meant, IS. (Ohhhh what I’d give for a mellow life.)

I was throwing a semi-pity party while sitting at lunch with my guidance counselor, telling her how I wished I had a neat and simple life, when she all of a sudden stopped and said, “Do you realize how many people would kill for the life experience you have?” She smiled and proceeded to tell me how she went to college right out of high school, got into counseling and followed this neat and tidy path into her present college counselor career and never veered outside the box. But “I” got to try anything and everything (except for traveling out of the country or to Hawaii, but I didn’t dare interrupt). She said that since my husband had a stable job it left me the room that many never have. That room was to explore all that intrigued me.

So instead of saying, “I wish I could try this. One day I want to do that. When I have some money I’ll do what I want or buy what I want.” See what you can do NOW. Don’t have regrets if you can avoid them. Talk yourself into a positive attitude and an, “I know I can” attitude.

Easier said than done? Maybe. But it’s worth the work to try to change your focus and be happy. Try one new thing a week, month or year. But try it! Don’t sit around saying that you don’t have the time. Look in your planner, find an empty date RIGHT NOW and write this in, “Try something new and fun!” What haven’t you done that you have wanted to do? Ask a friend if there’s something you talk about doing but never seem to get around to. If you have a yearning, chances are you friends have heard about it.

If you do something new, we’d like to hear about it! Please send email to susie AT thebusywoman.com and make SURE to put in the subject line, “DID IT”. If we print your story you’ll get a FREE Leather Business Card Holder!

When we start working so much that we don’t take time to smell the roses, (or in my case, the coffee), a sense of hopelessness and lack of purpose starts to set in. This is where people start to get more me focused due to rebellion. The typical phrase is heard across the land, “I’ve worked long and hard and for WHAT, to pay bills and have no fun in life?” Talk to people all over the world via the Internet and you’ll hear the same thing.

This is why finding our “purpose” is the key phrase this year. There are many new books on how to find your purpose in life. That’s because there’s such a growing need. While you’re pondering which book will truly help you find your purpose, why not start investigating what’s listed in your daily planner. Look at your schedule and see if there is anything scheduled that builds relationships. If that’s an area that is lacking, schedule in time to work on some relationships you’ve let slide. Choose to plan your time so that those relationships you value most have a place in your day planner. Start calling those people you adore and ask them out. This could be taking a friend for coffee to catch up on what’s been happening in “their” life, or it could be going out to lunch with your mother. I’ve been going on actual dates with my husband. While this has been a practice we’ve enjoyed for our 22 years of marriage, sometimes work gets in the way and we forget for a while. My youngest daughter and I have also started enjoying our time together. These are simple ways to build foundations for lasting and close relationships. If money is an issue, take a child to the park with a game or two you can play on the grass. For that matter, do this with your spouse too!

Have you scheduled in fun things to do that give you personal joy or pleasure? I enjoy going to Starbucks without having to rush, then going to one of my meetings. For “me” this is enjoyable social time. When was the last time you went to a concert in the park and spread out a picnic blanket? You might have to think back to when you were younger and did more fun things to come up with something you truly enjoy. Either way, just do it!

Do away with time wasters and robbers. Many time wasters are excessive TV, Email and Internet usage, and believe it or not, over-cleaning or organizing. Some people get obsessive! By following a plan of action, you can have more Me Time/FREE Time. Along your journey of scheduling in Me Time/FREE Time, you will get more of an idea of what your purpose is by noticing what you enjoy doing most. Ask yourself, “Does this feel right?” Notice if you’re so excited about something you feel almost euphoric!

If you find you enjoy serving meals at a local shelter and speaking with the people there, your purpose might be to go into the mission’s field. If you enjoy working with children, your purpose might be to become a teacher. Only YOU can find your purpose/calling in life by trying those things you think you might enjoy doing.

But you first have to take time to do some Spring Cleaning of your time and relationships. Only then will you be on your way to finding your purpose and living a more enjoyable life!

How do you politely deal with this while not offending your friend? I now have a timer next to the phone. While I don’t use it all of the time, when my friends call, I tell them that they know we’ll talk for hours, so here’s how much time I have to chat and I’ll let them know when I’m getting close to the end of that time. This way, they know I want to talk to them, but they know we can’t just go on for hours like I used to when I didn’t have a job and family at the same time. I have a friend who will say, “Well, we’re getting near the end of my time, so I need to wrap things up.” I’m working on that phrase myself. It’s not offensive and your friends know exactly what to expect.

Don’t get me wrong. I schedule three hours on the weekends to sit and chitchat with my friends. The only difference is that I’m not taking up my workday to talk. I’m using my “Free Time.”

The same goes for my relationships with my customers. I tend to go on with my customers as well, so I have the timer at my desk. I’m trying to use it more often, however it still seems a bit offensive to me personally, to start a timer when the phone rings. However, let me express that since I’ve been honest about how much time I have to chat, my stress levels have gone down and everyone appreciates my honesty. I used to allow as much as an hour to chat because I had a hard time knowing when it was okay to break off the conversation.

When I have a new customer, I enjoy taking about a half hour with them so we can get to know each other. But when I get on the phone with a previous customer, I will say something like, “You know how I enjoy talking with you, but I have a tight schedule today.” or “You know how I enjoy talking with you, but I’ll talk for too long and won’t get my work done. So please help me keep this short.” They usually laugh and tell me they’ll only allow me to stay on for so long. I always have many phone calls to make and the work is never-ending. Therefore I group my return calls together and get through them as time allows. It is very important in daily life to keep on top of your schedule.

While you don’t want a schedule to manage you, if you plan correctly, you will be able to manage a comfortable schedule ““and” keep in touch with your family, friends and customers. So don’t be afraid to set time limits. It can be done politely and help with your productivity in business and in every day life.

Here are some suggestions in order to help break down cleaning jobs into manageable bites:

1. Schedule time to clean a particular room.
2. On that day, turn off the phone unless absolutely necessary, so you will have fewer distractions. If I am distracted, it’s hard to get “back” on track.
3. Have a trash can and empty box on hand.
4. Stack everything that is out of place in the center of the room.
5. Put everything that belongs somewhere in THIS room either in the center of the floor or where you want them.
6. Throw the garbage in the trash, and put the things from other areas of the house into the box.
7. If you’re cleaning your home work space or office, be sure to have files for specific things such as: bills to be paid or that have been paid, insurance, car receipts, bank papers, school transcripts and resume, and so on. I have an envelope for each month of the year for receipts. This helps me purge my checkbook and purse of all receipts into one place for possible future need.
8. Do you need another filing cabinet? Do you need more file folders? Make a list of other items you need to complete the room.
9. Do you have a lot of wires straggling all over from a computer, phone lines, or other electronic equipment? Get some twist ties to make them more manageable. I take different colored paper and cut it into strips. Then I tape (for example) one purple strip at the top and one at the bottom of one wire, and so on with each color. Then when I am looking for which wire to unplug or plug back in, I can glance behind the machine and KNOW which plug goes where.

When you are working in a home office, it can be a little more difficult than working at a regular out of the home office. Your in home office often collects household items because they’ve somehow crept in from other areas of the house. So try to completely separate your business and home items. Then keep a box in the office for when you find items that belong elsewhere.

Just remember that any job is easier done in smaller pieces and with clear instructions!

Make a pack that you can grab at a moments notice. Place it where you can grab it on your way out whether that be near a back door, front door, etc…

Here’s a list of items to keep inside:

FOR YOUR HOME

* change of clothes & shoes (we saved old shoes, the younger children can wear the older ones shoes in a pinch)
* bottled water (we have a box of capri sun drinks too)
* a small blanket or two
* some non perishable snacks for as many as are in your family
(we have dried fruits, oats, & cereals)
* maybe a couple of reading books (a bible?)

Use with the emergency kits you have in your car & purse and you should be all set!