When I signed up as an
AOL Community Leader in the Academic Assistance Center, back in 1995,
I had to choose a screen name. Hence, ProfMomm, Professional Mom
was born. This is how I sign my notes to my children.
I am proud to be Mom. However, when my first two children were babies,
I had a hard time grasping what I was supposed to do all day. I sometimes
cried from the loneliness being home all day with my first baby.
She was a doll and I enjoyed every moment with her. But when the
house was clean and we were done eating, I didn't know what to do
with myself. Oh we'd take walks and go to the park. But there were
usually two or more moms talking in their groups. They all had something
together and I lived just a couple blocks away too many to be included.
There's only SO much play you can do in a day with a baby . Next
my son came along and I had to learn to manage two of them all day.
Things were still about the same except for the sleepless nights
because of my son's colic. Moving on, our third child was born and
her ears were always infected so she lived on my hip and the sleepless
nights continued.
I couldn't blame the children for my sleepless nights. For my sanity,
at about 12 noon each day, I'd tell the children that it was time
for everyone to have quiet time. They would complain because they
wanted to be outside or in front of TV, etc... I came up with this, "We
all need quiet time. Even mommies need quiet time. Do you know what
happens to your mommy when she doesn't get her quiet time?" Their
eyes would open big and they'd say, "Uh ohhhhh." I'd go on, "Mommy
turns into "Mommy Monster!"" I'd snarl and make faces and chase them
into their bedrooms. They'd run laughing all the way down the hall.
Of course I was carrying the baby and gave her certain toys she only
played with at that time, each day, in her crib.
I didn't require them to sleep. They could do anything they wanted
as long as it was relaxing and quiet. But instead of yelling and
screaming, I explained to them that if I didn't get MY needed rest
I would turn into a monster.
The point is that it took a LOT of thinking and ingenuity to come
up with things to help me stay sane and still be a good mom. We had
a rigid schedule because I home schooled. But that proved to be great
because we would schedule in 3-5 hours of "Free Time" per day! I
did this by setting up the house so that there was a place for everything
and everything had a place. It took about a month or so to get it
that way, but it is well worth the effort.
Now, 20 years of marriage and three teenagers later, there have
been a lot of changes and hard lessons learned. We all say we are
going to do better than our parents. And in some things we do. But
I'll never forget my mom telling me that one day I'll understand
this and one day I'll understand that...
The past 4 months or so have been my awakening. On my way home from
a recent trip I felt the need to stop in and tell my parents how
much I appreciate and love them. I must have said it 10 times. I
now understand what mom meant all those years. And oh how I appreciate
them, the things they sacrificed, the things they did for us. When
I came home from school as a child my mom would greet me with a smile
and hug and say, "Hi Honey! How was your day?" I can still hear her.
My mom has not always been the gentle mom she is now. That's where
I came up with mommy monster after all. However, I can see things
more clearly now because I had so many of the same “Mommy Monster” Days
with my children as she did with me. As a child though, you don’t
quite understand the reality of the situation.
Somehow I don't remember the difficult times as vividly as I did
before. I mostly remember all the gentle quiet times she shared with
me. When I was in preschool, she helped out in the classroom and
at one point was my teacher for a short time at a preschool. Then
during the days I was home I remember her teaching me how to play
cards. Her favorite at that time was Gin Rummy and you know what,
my mom never let me win. That was a big deal! She would beat me fair
and square. But on the off chance I would actually win, I KNEW that
I had really won! I seem to recall many games of gin rummy, go fish,
crazy eights, war, and slap jack. I remember; watching TV with her,
getting to sneak some of the yummy food before her guests came for
her Pan game, gentle rocking when I hurt or was sad (This one I remember
most!). I remember her always being on all but two field trips I
went on throughout my elementary school years and the ones she missed
were only because she had surgery during one and was sick for the
other. But she had the teacher sit with me on the bus to make sure
I didn't get sick.
This is a tribute to MY Momm and Yours for all of their diligent
service as Moms, their hard work, unconditional love, sacrifices
and most of all, warm hugs. Seems as though when we get older, the
good memories replace the bad and we can then see who our moms really
are. I hope that happens to you sooner than it did me. Thank you
Mom!!!
© 2002 Susie Glennan
Susie Glennan has been happily married since 1982, is mom to 3 teenagers,
and is a Home Maker, Nurturer, Teacher, Author, Professional Speaker,
Toastmaster, President of The Busy Woman, Inc., DBA - The Busy Woman's Daily
Planner®. She teaches time management seminars, offers FREE consultations
with your order, and will help you set up a schedule that's right for you.
800-848-7715 www.thebusywoman.com
