Communicating With Your Children, A Different Perspective
Like so many parents, I too sometimes have a hard time dealing
with my children's upsets. You know how your children go through
different experiences with other children where one day their peers
are nice and the next day they're mean? For example, their so called
friends come to your house one day to hang out, then don't allow
your child to sit with them at lunch the next day? It's more often
girls who suffer injustices of emotional torture by their peers.
And that's what we're going to talk about.
Several months ago, something fun happened in our home. Our family
went wireless. Now I can chat online from anywhere in the house!
One day while I was sitting on the couch, chatting with my friends
online, I heard my daughter's fingers typing away on the computer
in the next room. So I sent her a message. She got all excited
and started teasing me online and sharing her woes like girls do.
It was then that it hit me! I didn't have to HEAR her whine and
yet she could tell me everything over and over again without getting
on my nerves. LOL Sometimes it's so hard to listen because there
isn't much I can say or do to make her feel better.
But hey, if I'm online chatting with “my” friends, I'm actually
available to my daughter too. She can type out all of her thoughts
and send them to me in chat. This exercise alone helps her feel
better. I can then send her responses that she ends up reading.
If I were talking to her about it, she tends to shut me out because
she just wants to go on and on.
This way we both get to say what's on our minds without mowing
over each other and guess what? It works!!! Now that's not to say
that when she wants to talk I say, “If you want to talk to me,
get online.” But after talking to me several times in the day I
get tired of the complaining. That doesn't mean that that I don't
care. But nothing I say makes her feel better. So she gets online
with her girlfriends. If I'm in the other room and hear her typing
I get online and say something goofy. Then she opens up.
MY mom on the other hand is more patient (as I hear grandmas are)
and can be calming. So when she's available, I have my daughter
call her. Today my mom was over and I reminded my little one that
she wanted to talk with grandma. It was so heartwarming when I
heard my mom be so grandma-ish. LOL
It really DOES take a village to raise a child. However, I want
to choose who's a part of that village. That way I know they have
the same values as I do.
Copyright © 2003 Susie Glennan
Susie Glennan has been happily married since 1982, is mom to 3 teenagers,
and is a Home Maker, Nurturer, Teacher, Author, Professional Speaker,
Toastmaster, President of The Busy Woman, Inc., DBA - The Busy Woman's Daily
Planner®. She teaches time management seminars, offers FREE consultations
with your order, and will help you set up a schedule that's right for you.
800-848-7715 www.thebusywoman.com
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